Edited by Audacia Ray

if I had a gf, would I be as turned on by her pussy as I am with my own?

10.00am: here's a tip: don't relay your bareback sex with Jack Nicholson to your massage therapist while her elbow is pressing into the side of your ass. I did, hilarity ensued, and now my ass hurts.

3.30pm: in the supermarket window I see what my ass looks like when I wear this stretchy skirt. Shazam, I'm working this bitch.

6.15pm: suddenly I'm seeing all these girls with behind-the-ear tattoos, which I love. Are they more popular lately, or is it just ponytails and exposed necks weather?

9.00pm: I seriously just stood outside talking to cute neighbor guy for half an hour while he rambled about nothing and didn't get up the nerve to ask me out. Probably good, since I'm not sure what I'd say.

11.20pm: if I had a gf, would I be as turned on by her pussy as I am with my own? B/c I'm totally getting off on sniffing my knickers. I am a bad FT lesbian, but girls are welcome to sniff my panties and give it a shot.

Madeline Glass whiles away her time on the internet delving into her and others' sex lives, while offline she juggles several, um, intimate relationships and an acute case of the roving horny eyeballs. Read her blog.

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