Edited by Audacia Ray

There's someone having ridiculously athletic sex in the house across the alley

6.00am: There's someone having ridiculously athletic sex in the house across the alley. I'd like to make coffee, but I don't want to miss anything.

6.20am: Still no coffee, it's back to bed to finish rubbing out what I started whilst sitting in the chair by the window.

2.15pm: 1st day at the pool. Reminding myself that tans are not healthy, that SPF is mandatory, and that I am going to be using lots of L'Oreal Sublime Bronze this summer.

3.00pm: Hot dads at the pool! Lots of them!

3.05pm: Hot moms at the pool! Much harder to find. Damn.

Madeline Glass whiles away her time on the internet delving into her and others' sex lives, while offline she juggles several, um, intimate relationships and an acute case of the roving horny eyeballs. Read her blog.

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