Edited by Audacia Ray

I'm already in bed, so I stay there and lie on my side and rub one out

6.30am: Roll over in bed and wish there was another person there. Grab a pillow instead.

9.00am: Up for real, but I'm already in bed, so I stay there and lie on my side and rub one out, all lazy-like.

11.00am: My client knocks on the door just as I remember that I am not wearing pants.

12.00pm: My client leaves and i take off my pants. Resolve to wear more dresses.

3.30pm: For second time today, wish I had another person here who could make me feel better when, say, the weather turns especially nasty.

Madeline Glass whiles away her time on the internet delving into her and others' sex lives, while offline she juggles several, um, intimate relationships and an acute case of the roving horny eyeballs. Read her blog.

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