Necronomicon Porn? Yes please! [Porn-o-rama]
Posted at 10:50 AM Aug 14, 2008
Six comments on my last post? You mean someone is actually reading my stuff? Holy crap!
Inspired by the fact that Wendy Blackheart seems to appreciate the Necronomicon's appearance in Teenage Twins as much as I, and as a thank you to her for being the first commenter on my triumphant return post*, I decided that today's entry would also be Necronomicon-themed -- a top five list of the evil book's appearances in porn films!. So I searched. And searched. And searched. And...
Well it ain't gonna be a top five. Heck, it ain't gonna be a top three. Besides Teenage Twins, and a cameo appearance in the brilliantly blasphemous The XXXorcist, the only goddamn thing I could dig up was a crappy Japanese hentai series called Mystery of the
Necronomicon. I remember renting this one night hoping for a Lovecraftian pick-me-up, but I was disappointed to find out that despite the title, it doesn't actually have very much at all to do with the Necronomicon -- it's just your standard violent rape-porn**, though a bit gorier and slower than most. Or maybe I'm confusing it with Bible Black, another disappointment. Anyway, the point is, I can't find any porn featuring the Necronomicon, so this is going to be a very short insta-
But wait! What's this? Zombies? Chainsaws? The second best oral-sex-with-a-severed-head scene I've ever seen? Is it, in fact, the trailer for an upcoming porn spoof of a movie about the evils unleashed when a bunch of dumb college kids find the Necronomicon in an abandoned cabin in the woods that Steven King called "the most ferociously original horror film of the year", and one of my top ten
movies of all time?
It is! It is! Oh Doug Sakmann, you're the absolute ginchiest!
--Mikey Mongol
*and certainly not because I'm trying to impress her and thus increase my chances that we will someday have sex, as I am a professional and I would never stoop so low as to exploit the sacred trust of my journalistic platform for such a base and selfish purpose. Though, you know, if she wanted to call me sometime...
** or as the Japanese call it, "porn".
more: Porn-o-rama
Oh damn. I remember the oral sex with a severed head thing, but I don't remember where its from. And I know I'm going to be mad at myself when I remember where it's from, because how could I forget something that awesome?
And Bible Black was entertaining enough - that crazy Miss Kitami who grew a dick and fucked her students? Those were some good scenes.
Posted by: Wendy Blackheart at August 14, 2008 1:42 PM
The uncut version of Stuart Gordon's Re-Animator, of course.
There's just something about Lovecraft and severed head sex...
Posted by: Mikey Mongol at August 14, 2008 7:14 PM
HA! See, I know lots about horror movies, but have seen so few of them, comparatively. Something about working in a funeral home doesn't lend it self to watching zombie flicks. I tried it and I spent three weeks running out of work when I had to close at night going "OMG ZOMBIES RUN CLOSE THE DOOR GET IN THE CAR QUICK!"
I should really just get a machete and carry it with me at all times, just in case the outbreak comes. Then I'll be ready.
Posted by: Wendy Blackheart at August 15, 2008 8:47 PM
