Overheard on the Set [Sex Worker Rant]
Posted at 4:44 PM Aug 07, 2008
Image from TheNaughtyAmerican's Flickr stream
Sex Worker Rant runs on Wednesdays (but is a day late this week!) and is written by Renegade Evolution, a sex worker, sexual mercenary, and all around fan of “The Sexy” living somewhere near our nation’s capital. Quirky might as well be her middle name.
In my business, you hear a lot of strange things, but I have to say, some of the funniest things, or conversely, some of the most grimly amusing things I've heard have been uttered on the generally modest (ahem) or barren sets of low budget gonzo pornography. Now granted, I have a very, very strange sense of humor, but I thought I'd share with you a few of my favorite utterances that have escaped the lips of people on such locations. I will not lay claim to or deny my involvement in any of these gems…
"Fuck, that stings! Hold still, let me fling some in your eyes!"
"Poison Oak? Thank god, I thought it might be herpes!"
"Dude, my ass is burning, could you hold that light a little lower?"
"Please stand by for erectional difficulties…"
"Umm, I'm going to need more lube for that…a lot more."
"Platform heels run less risk of causing open flesh wounds."
"Can you hold that position? I really need to pee!"
"Okay, so this leg goes here, and this one here, and my head is like this…where is his cock going again?"
(amid frustrated cursing) "What do you mean the fucking camera died before the pop?"
"If I'm going to be licking this floor in twenty minutes, I'm going to be mopping it now."
And my all time favorite?
"You know, this stuff really does actually work as hair gel?"
And who says we don't live interesting lives? The one I personally like to say the most however is… "You're willing to pay me that? For that? Well then, let's do some business!"
Read Renegade Evolution's blog here.
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