Three Hot Dead Porn Stars [Porn-o-rama]
Posted at 11:32 AM Aug 18, 2008
Porn-o-rama is written by Mikey Mongol. Brace yourself.
On the surface, the allure of porn stars and the reasons that people fantasize about them seem pretty obvious. If I see a shiny, delicious-looking apple in a grocer's window, I might think about eating it. Similarly, If a porn star is attractive, and you've seen her, er, "goods" on display, then it's no wonder that you'd fantasize about her, right? I mean, I might pass an apple on the street and not think I have much chance of ever eating it because an apple like that would never let itself be eaten by a guy like me, but what if there's a sweet-looking Red Delicious that advertises itself as for sale, and willing to be eaten by almost anyone, or maybe even several different people at once? I mean, I'm an anyone. I could eat that apple. And it's been so long since I've even had a whiff of apple, I'm going a little crazy over here. Oh God, I need a juicy mouthful of that sweet, sweet fruit so very, very badly...
Ahem. Sorry.
But while that's definitely plausible on its face, I think the reason for a porn star's allure is a bit more complicated. Sure, to some folks, porn stars are the archetypical Girl Anybody Can Have (and I say Girl because I'm talking more about straight porn than gay porn, which has different social and psychological dynamics). But I think there's more to it than that. While not as unattainable as, say, a major Hollywood celebrity, the odds of a porn consumer actually shtupping a porn star are pretty darn low. I think it's as much the allure of the forbidden that draws men to porn stars as it is their theoretical availability -- while other men get to fuck them with wild abandon, you'll never get the chance, and it's the fact that they're forbidden fruit -- less an apple and more a gold-plated Porsche in a billionaire's driveway -- that makes them so attractive. In other words, I think they're less the Girl Anyone Can Have and more The Girl Anyone Can Have But You.
It's not an airtight theory by any means, and I'm sure it's only a small part of a much bigger truth. But something that helps confirm that idea, I think, is that dead porn stars don't draw as much attention, or generate as many sales, as living-but-retired ones. Personally I think that's a shame -- just because they're no longer with us doesn't mean the images of them committed to film are any less sexy. They've just transitioned from The Girl Anyone Can Have But You to The Girl Nobody Can Have (or at least The Girl Nobody Can Have Unless You're Handy With A Shovel And You Don't Mind The Smell).
So to test my theory, here's a list of what I think are three of the hottest deceased pornstars. Are they more or less sexy to you because they're dead? Also, does anyone have anybody they'd like to add to the list?
--Mikey Mongol
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