Craigslist. Useful, absurd, fascinating, creepy and tonight, a little hopeful. Here's an exchange that unfolded right in Missed Connections:

We spend a lot of money trying to look like we simply don't give a shit. Every once in a while, though, it just comes naturally.

We're not so hard when it rains. Ambulances weave their way in choked arteries, the streets give off the putrid smell of wet city -- what the black lungs of every 405 commuter must smell like. Everything is damp, flat and miserable. We drive worse than usual, our post-adolescent crises hit harder than usual, everything goes straight to hell.

Lonesome and tired, sequestered in our apartments, then cars, then offices, then cars, then apartments again, we hit the only place we can think of that will serve up what we want: Craigslist casual encounters. One warm body, just for one night.

Is she beautiful and gentle or a beautiful non-Jewish person?

Happy Hanukkah, by the way.

People write the darnedest things if left unattended with a blank screen and blinking cursor too long.

5. The Second Best Runner-Up
"If I were to choose a mistress, she would be you."

Imagine you're not doing too well keeping up on your finances. Credit card bills, rent, an all-organic diet, a nutritionist, personal trainer, yoga instructor, reiki master, acupuncturist, dog groomer -- you know, L.A. necessities. They pile up. As a result, you gave up some luxuries, like cable and internet. Hey, there's a Coffee Bean around the corner, right?

Not good enough, it turns out. But you're in luck. You're a leggy blonde with access to Craigslist -- well, at least until the Bean closes.

Maybe we're being harsh. Maybe some women find the excessive use of the exclamation mark sincere and full of win. Maybe not everyone is a cynical asshole like we are. Anyone out there find the extreme enthusiasm not totally angina-inducing?

Among all the ads from women on Craigslist demanding model bodies in their men, be it for love or no-strings attached encounters, we found one acknowledging this is the season for cuddling. Chubby guys give better hugs, she has concluded, and the bigger they are, the better the hugs.

Skyline. We saw it. The L.A. jokes were good -- dangerously bad garage doors, Hollywood douchebags, emotionally-stirring music blaring as protagonists maneuver a mess of freeway a la The Hills -- only, you know, cooler, because it's Jared crooning and not Natasha Bedingfield. The plot, not so much. But there was a fascinating takeaway: women are volatile, emasculating bitches until a guy grows a pair via alien light transfusion. Then they'll do whatever he wants, apparently.

Geeks, your moment has come. She digs your quiet, brooding energy. She's aware of your sexual potential. All you need do is reach out...