Edited by Audacia Ray

A favorite activity: cleaning the house post-masturbation.

Posted at 4:45 PM Jul 03, 2008

1.00pm: Nothing planned this afternoon. Think I'll go jerk off and take a nap.

1:40pm: Ahjeez, I just came, like, six times in 30 minutes. That was awesome and bittersweet, cos there's nobody here to watch in amazement.

3.00pm: A favorite activity: cleaning the house post-masturbation. I'm naked, happy and a little dizzy. Also, the warm air from the vacuum blows right between my legs.

7.15pm: My friend M comes over after work. She's pregnant and I think, really, really sexy. I'm super creepy, so I tell her she should take off her clothes so I can see her naked. I mean, give her a massage.

9.30pm: I think that people who sit at a desk & wank to online porn must be very meticulous, or else extremely unhygienic. I mean, the cleanup factor could be such a pain. I am lazy, and choose to ejaculate in bed. On a towel.

Madeline Glass whiles away her time on the internet delving into her and others' sex lives, while offline she juggles several, um, intimate relationships and an acute case of the roving horny eyeballs. Read her blog.

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I want to put my mouth on his unagi

Posted at 10:43 PM Jul 02, 2008

1:30pm: Consistently surprised at the number of people who give a fuck what I'm doing.

3.30pm: K just called me from a van in a South American metropolis! I was a smartass & asked if he was kidnapped. He said no, but next week if I shoot my mouth off like that, he'll show me what that hole is for. Um, promise?

5.00pm: Considering how much sex I usually have, I know I have no room to complain, but. This girl will be tres heureuse when K gets back. Yay for vibrators, boo for absence of boyflesh.

7.15pm: The super-quiet, super-beatific waiter at my sushi place makes me quiver. Like, I want to put my mouth on his unagi. Damn him.

10.45pm: Met my deadline and now would like very much to have sex to celebrate. Some people drink champagne, I prefer...other stuff.

Madeline Glass whiles away her time on the internet delving into her and others' sex lives, while offline she juggles several, um, intimate relationships and an acute case of the roving horny eyeballs. Read her blog.

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Feeling like watching porn and eating ice cream

Posted at 10:12 PM Jul 01, 2008

5.00am: Damn, I fell asleep naked on the couch again. Somehow I'm gonna have to get back on a decent sleep schedule.

7.30am: Looking at a photo of Sinclair kissing a girl. Remembering how she pushed me against the wall in that elevator & kissed me that one time.

10.30am: Taking the dog for a run. Because I'm sexually frustrated. I mean, because it's good for me.

5.30pm: D, the cute military type from the gym, has four children. And, you know, a wife. He still has the hottest little body ever.

10.30pm: Feeling like watching porn and eating ice cream. When I get my own Ben & Jerry's flavor it's gonna be called Cookies & Creampies.

Madeline Glass whiles away her time on the internet delving into her and others' sex lives, while offline she juggles several, um, intimate relationships and an acute case of the roving horny eyeballs. Read her blog.

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why can't I manage to get sex delivered?

Posted at 10:40 PM Jun 30, 2008

6.00am: Now that cute neighbor boy has stopped housesitting for weird neighbor guy, I don't hope someone in that house is watching me shower.

1.15pm: the guy at the mattress store just made me a great deal. I think it's bc of a combination of lip gloss and boobs.

4.30pm: If I can get a mattress delivered, why can't I manage to get sex delivered? Damn K and his international business trips.

6.30pm: decided to be more Zen about the whole sexless for a week thing. And by "Zen" I mean Craigslist.

10.15pm: and by Craigslist I mean w4w. Ugh, you dudes post the most unappealing ads.

Madeline Glass whiles away her time on the internet delving into her and others' sex lives, while offline she juggles several, um, intimate relationships and an acute case of the roving horny eyeballs. Read her blog.

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when was the last time I was over at Casual Encounters, hmmm?

Posted at 5:11 PM Jun 27, 2008

6.00am: I am awake, with a sore shoulder blade. Because, um, I slept on my lube bottle.

6.10am: Shoulder blade still sore, I think. Lube bottle slightly less full. La la la la la!

1.10pm: I am shopping on Craigslist. And it's not for dates. It's for a bed frame. In fact, when was the last time I was over at Casual Encounters, hmmm? Let's fix that now, shall we?

2.00pm: So bored with "any ladys want me to cum eat yer pusy" posts. Ohh, here's a bisexual crossdresser wearing an excellent dress. Too bad I've got plans for the weekend and they don't include a playdate with "Cynthia."

4.30pm: It is five o'clock on the East Coast. So I am having a cocktail. And then Kelly is coming over and I am eating sushi and getting some cock.

Madeline Glass whiles away her time on the internet delving into her and others' sex lives, while offline she juggles several, um, intimate relationships and an acute case of the roving horny eyeballs. Read her blog.

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I'm still not fucking his girlfriend

Posted at 10:05 PM Jun 26, 2008

7.45am: T sends me an IM, asking about my "sweet pussy." Aw, he's so nice.

8:25am: I get out of this chat by telling T that I'm going to shower. "Touch yourself and think of me?" he says. "Yes," I say and I do, but I'm still not fucking his girlfriend, no matter how nice he is to my vagina.

1.15pm: Watching the dog lick himself. Envious.

3.38pm: My friend Lil' P just left. On his bike. On his Schwinn beach cruiser bike with the awesome rims and whitewall tires. I kind of want to be his gf so I can get a matching bike and we can go riding together.

7.10pm: One of these days I'm going to be drunk & horny and Lil' P is accidentally going to become an FMF: Friend Mad Fucks. But it'll be cool, cos we can blame it on alcohol. God, I'm awful. But I still want to.

Madeline Glass whiles away her time on the internet delving into her and others' sex lives, while offline she juggles several, um, intimate relationships and an acute case of the roving horny eyeballs. Read her blog.

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I wonder if I'll ever get tired of masturbation

Posted at 10:13 PM Jun 25, 2008

1.30am: Holy crap, I just sustained the longest orgasm of my life. Thanks, Njoy Pure Wand!

1.15pm: Cute girl asst is here working in the garden. I am inside writing so I can take off in an hour and go to the pool.

4.00pm: Sitting by the pool in my chair. The woman next to me is nursing a child and has very manly legs. I am very fascinated by this.

6.35pm: At the Mexican restaurant. Luis the server isn't very good at the inconspicuous titty stare. De nada, Luis.

11.15pm: Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get tired of masturbation. Like, will it ever get predictable? I mean, it's ME. I already KNOW I'm good.

Madeline Glass whiles away her time on the internet delving into her and others' sex lives, while offline she juggles several, um, intimate relationships and an acute case of the roving horny eyeballs. Read her blog.

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I have resolved to squat more

Posted at 10:10 PM Jun 24, 2008

6.10am: I don't THINK any neighbors can see me when i dump the coffee grounds into the garden while I'm naked.

10.00am: My ass is still displeasing to me. How can I make it more plumpier? To this end, I have resolved to squat more. And not just in the woods to pee, or while riding a dude. Like squats at the GYM, bitches.

12.15pm: If you were ever on a reality dating show (especially that totally lame ElimiDate): What. Were. You. Thinking.

4.00pm: Fucking K is awesome because today, when I came, it was when "True Blue" by Madonna played on shuffle and he made fun of me. Cos Madonna makes me come, apparently, AND it was the dance mix.

4.30pm: FTR, K had an orgasm to Feist's Mushaboom which I said made him a lesbian, and my Madonna climax made me a gay boy.

Madeline Glass whiles away her time on the internet delving into her and others' sex lives, while offline she juggles several, um, intimate relationships and an acute case of the roving horny eyeballs. Read her blog.

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I'm fuckstruck

Posted at 10:25 PM Jun 23, 2008

8.10am: K calls from jury duty; if he doesn't get called, he's got the rest of the day off. Here's hoping.

9.00am: Balls, he's been chosen. Fuck me. Or, rather, don't.

9.30am: Aw, domestic violence victim didn't show for her bf's trial. I feel badly for her, but I'm also kinda glad. That makes me selfish. And evil.

1.00pm: Man. Um. Wow. That's three hours straight. Well, mostly. I'm fuckstruck.

6.30pm: at my parents' for dinner. My mom showed me a meat tenderizer she bought for my dad; it looks like a buttplug, and I say so. Really!

Madeline Glass whiles away her time on the internet delving into her and others' sex lives, while offline she juggles several, um, intimate relationships and an acute case of the roving horny eyeballs. Read her blog.

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I'm really all right with not getting laid at all this week.

Posted at 5:06 PM Jun 20, 2008

7.00am: I'm not saying that I don't LOVE my Silver Bullet vibe, just that I'm a girl who likes variety and, well, decadence in her sex toys. Good wank, tho.

9.30am: K calls and says to keep the afternoon open; he may cut out of the office. That would be great cos I've had a shit day already.

12.10pm: two guys sitting at the other end of the bench are talking about gfs. Trying not to listen, but just shot them a look when the convo turned to pussies.

1.45pm: K's not coming. Which means I won't be coming. At least, not on top of anyone. Boo.

7.00pm: I'm really all right with not getting laid at all this week. I mean, I had a lot of work and you know, I was busy. So I'm ok with it. Really.

Madeline Glass whiles away her time on the internet delving into her and others' sex lives, while offline she juggles several, um, intimate relationships and an acute case of the roving horny eyeballs. Read her blog.

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