Edited by Audacia Ray

The Dunlap Horror [Porn-o-rama]

Porn-o-rama is written by Mikey Mongol. Brace yourself.

Ah, now I see how this works. I post a probably-dead amphibian being forcibly shoved into some poor crying woman's hoo-hah, and I get eight comments. Three perfectly normal hardcore porn pictures gets me bupkus.

OK, fine, let's do this.

So what with the horrible disgusting shit that anyone that spends anytime wallowing in the underbelly of this profession (and it's all underbelly, by the way) has to see, one tends to get desensitized to most of it. "Mikey," my friends always ask me, "how is it that you are so wise and strong and handsome?" But after that, the second most common question is "So considering everything that you've seen, does anything still squick you out?'

The answer, sadly, is yes. And here are three of them.

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1) Granny porn. Yeah, OK, I know that old people are sexual, and that's fine. And I don't mind necessarily the fact, in abstract, that they might be filmed bumping ugly (and I do mean ugly). But that? Nobody needs to see that. Ever.
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2) Fuck My Gut Butt. Look, anyone that knows me knows that I'm not a guy that only goes after the skinny-minnies. Most of the time I like a woman that has some curves, with some meat on her bones. I'll admit that the woman pictured on that boxcover is probably a little outside my target range -- once your dunlap starts developing a dunlap, I'm probably no longer interested. That being said, I got no beef with XXL BBWs and their adorers, and the idea of a woman of that size getting it on isn't inherently disgusting to me. However! The very idea of gut-butt fucking (the fucking of the belly-button crease of the extremely obese)... that just doesn't sit right with me. I know there are plenty of places that the penis wasn't meant to go that plenty of people, myself included, like to stick it, but somehow the "gut-butt" is a faux-orifice (a fauxrifice?) too far.
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3) Ed Powers. Look at that guy. Ew ew ew ew ew. If bestiality is illegal, he should be too.

What about you folks? What porn makes you cringe and shrivel?

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Grande Dame Appearance: Georgina Spelvin at Book Soup in LA

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Porn-o-rama is written by Mikey Mongol. Brace yourself

Oh man! Oh man! Georgina Spelvin -- the Georgina Spelvin, of Devil
in Miss Jones
fame, is appearing in Hollywood on the 20th, doing a signing of her autobiography at Book Soup.

There are two reasons that I deeply regret not being in LA this week, and this is definitely one of them. If you haven't every seen DMJ (or the first sequel, for that matter), you are doing yourself a real disservice. I can't think of any porn film hotter, especially from the early 70's. How many movies from back then can you think of that had double-penetration action?

Plus, Georgina's 72 and she hardly ever makes personal appearances anymore. Damn it! Who do I know in Hollywood?

--Mikey Mongol

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Three Hot Dead Porn Stars [Porn-o-rama]

Porn-o-rama is written by Mikey Mongol. Brace yourself.

On the surface, the allure of porn stars and the reasons that people fantasize about them seem pretty obvious. If I see a shiny, delicious-looking apple in a grocer's window, I might think about eating it. Similarly, If a porn star is attractive, and you've seen her, er, "goods" on display, then it's no wonder that you'd fantasize about her, right? I mean, I might pass an apple on the street and not think I have much chance of ever eating it because an apple like that would never let itself be eaten by a guy like me, but what if there's a sweet-looking Red Delicious that advertises itself as for sale, and willing to be eaten by almost anyone, or maybe even several different people at once? I mean, I'm an anyone. I could eat that apple. And it's been so long since I've even had a whiff of apple, I'm going a little crazy over here. Oh God, I need a juicy mouthful of that sweet, sweet fruit so very, very badly...

Ahem. Sorry.

But while that's definitely plausible on its face, I think the reason for a porn star's allure is a bit more complicated. Sure, to some folks, porn stars are the archetypical Girl Anybody Can Have (and I say Girl because I'm talking more about straight porn than gay porn, which has different social and psychological dynamics). But I think there's more to it than that. While not as unattainable as, say, a major Hollywood celebrity, the odds of a porn consumer actually shtupping a porn star are pretty darn low. I think it's as much the allure of the forbidden that draws men to porn stars as it is their theoretical availability -- while other men get to fuck them with wild abandon, you'll never get the chance, and it's the fact that they're forbidden fruit -- less an apple and more a gold-plated Porsche in a billionaire's driveway -- that makes them so attractive. In other words, I think they're less the Girl Anyone Can Have and more The Girl Anyone Can Have But You.

It's not an airtight theory by any means, and I'm sure it's only a small part of a much bigger truth. But something that helps confirm that idea, I think, is that dead porn stars don't draw as much attention, or generate as many sales, as living-but-retired ones. Personally I think that's a shame -- just because they're no longer with us doesn't mean the images of them committed to film are any less sexy. They've just transitioned from The Girl Anyone Can Have But You to The Girl Nobody Can Have (or at least The Girl Nobody Can Have Unless You're Handy With A Shovel And You Don't Mind The Smell).

So to test my theory, here's a list of what I think are three of the hottest deceased pornstars. Are they more or less sexy to you because they're dead? Also, does anyone have anybody they'd like to add to the list?

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Haley Paige: Man, I was bummed out when I heard what happened to Haley. She had an energy to her scenes that not many can match, and she seemed like she was a nice person. Mystery still shrouds the circumstances of her death, but however she went it was well before her time. I think her best work was still ahead of her.
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Savannah: One of the legends of the porn industry, Savannah was the ultimate in 90's blonde glamour girls, and one of the greatest groupies in rock history. While she was obviously troubled in life, I know for a fact that she loved dogs and small children (and not, to my knowledge, in a creepy way) -- not that those facts make her Gandhi or anything, but maybe thinking about them will go a little ways to humanizing someone many thought of as just another coke-addled porn whore. Plus, just look at her in those gallery pics. When anybody that looks that good in a crotchless body stocking dies, I think we should all be a little sad.
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Anna Malle: Nina Hartley's "perfect partner", Anna had retired from films about a year before she was killed in a car wreck. Still, like Savannah, she was a legend in her own time -- plus, it's not that we're so awash in Native American porn stars that we can afford to lose any.

--Mikey Mongol

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Ah, My Eyes! Is It Okay to Masturbate When... [Porn-o-rama]

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I had this mammoth three-page post all written up talking about taboos and degradation and the ethics of transgressive pornography and the thin line between the erotic and the grotesque, but when I had typed it all up I realized that as blindingly brilliant as my writing is, that post wasn't the right kind of stuff for this blog. Instead, let's just pretend (just temporarily, because I'll probably post it to my own blog later) that I wrote all of that, and you read it. Now, pop quiz! Based on the article you pretended to read, tell me whether it's ethically acceptable to masturbate to the following things or not:

1) Japanese animated rape/snuff porn, like yesterday's Bible Black. My verdict: It's animated! Who cares? Go right ahead. Rub it 'till your hands cramp!

2) Creepy Japanese frog porn. TOTALLY GROSS (and pictured above, ha!). Equally gross: Japanese fish porn. There's more in the series but I'll spare you the horror): My take is that it's gross and creepy, but as long as those animals are dead and the performers are consenting then I guess I don't really have an ethical problem with it, aside from maybe hygiene or disease concerns. I don't think it's any worse, morally speaking, than using leather toys or clothing -- dead animal is dead animal, right? So if you want to jerk to it, go ahead -- but I'm totally going to judge you because... ew. Gross. Really gross.

3) "Painal" (painful anal) scenes, either real or faked: Well, I've got mixed feelings about these. I don't really think that people need to learn to fetishize painful and unsafe anal sex. It's not just altruism, either -- the more people that try that in real life, the more women are likely to be turned off of anal, and the less likely it is that the next girl I meet is going to be into letting a Mongol come around the back way, if you know what I mean. But even considering those facts, I can't really call it unethical -- I mean, I'm perfectly fine with watching people get hurt for my non-sexual pleasure, and I've certainly got zero beef with sexual sadism either, so whether real or fake I guess I've got to give painal an ethical pass as well, assuming the performers knew what they were in for and went ahead anyway.

Still, I can't help but wince and twinge inside anytime I watch that scene in Gang Bang Auditions 10 where you can tell that Amee Donavan is still pumping through the pain of a wrecked rectum. I personally would have stopped at the first anal tear, let alone smiled teary-eyed through three.

4) Rough Sex by Khan Tusion, or anything that Max Hardcore has done in the last ten years: My thoughts about these are more complicated than a simple yes or no. The issue here is that several of the performers involved in Rough Sex and others in a few Max Hardcore movies claimed that they didn't know what they were getting into, that they weren't given enough information for informed consent. The directors and producers, of course, deny this. Having watched the Rough Sex movies and compared them to mainstream pornography that was out at the time, I can completely see how and why those actresses weren't expecting what was about to happen, even if they were told things would get rough and there would be spanking and choking involved -- Rough Sex hadn't been on the market, and it was a quantum leap forwards in terms of violent, aggressive content. It's totally a judgment call, but I'm going to say that no, you shouldn't jerk to that because those actresses weren't given the chance for informed consent, and were being exploited and assaulted.

Now Max Hardcore, on the other hand... if you're a performer today, you've got absolutely no excuse not to know what the hell you're getting into when you step onto a Max Hardcore shoot. That may not have been true ten years ago, but nowadays the opportunity for informed consent is there, and while I don't like what he does -- I find it distasteful on a personal level and bad for the industry on a professional one -- I can't really say that he should be stopped from producing it, or you from masturbating to it.

5) That scene where Darren James infected Laura Roxx with HIV: OK, so there's a waiver that you sign before you do a professional porn scene, and if you're barebacking -- especially if you're double-anal barebacking for the first time -- there's a certain level of risk that you voluntarily assume. I can't really see any ethical difference between enjoying that scene and watching, say, a motorcycle stuntman trying to jump a half-dozen burning cars, failing, falling and breaking his neck. In both the sex scene and the hypothetical stunt, the performers knew they were being filmed for an audience, they knew (or had ample opportunity to learn) that there was a certain level of risk, they took money in exchange for accepting those risks and they drew the short straw. But you know, I don't think I could stay friends with you if you got off to watching this scene. I can't say it's unethical per se, but it sure as hell is repugnant.

6) Bug-chasing movies: Yeah, I know they're probably mostly (if not all) fake, but I don't care. I'm all for people's rights to have unprotected sex, to fuck who they want, to risk catching what they want and to commit suicide when they want, but I cannot get behind the idea of someone deliberately facilitating, promoting, exploiting and profiting from some pathological and intentionally fatal expression of a homosexual's twisted self-loathing, or the eroticization thereof.

So? What do y'all think? I know not all of you agree with me, so let's hear it.

--Mikey Mongol

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Necronomicon Porn? Yes please! [Porn-o-rama]

Six comments on my last post? You mean someone is actually reading my stuff? Holy crap!

Inspired by the fact that Wendy Blackheart seems to appreciate the Necronomicon's appearance in Teenage Twins as much as I, and as a thank you to her for being the first commenter on my triumphant return post*, I decided that today's entry would also be Necronomicon-themed -- a top five list of the evil book's appearances in porn films!. So I searched. And searched. And searched. And...

Well it ain't gonna be a top five. Heck, it ain't gonna be a top three. Besides Teenage Twins, and a cameo appearance in the brilliantly blasphemous The XXXorcist, the only goddamn thing I could dig up was a crappy Japanese hentai series called Mystery of the
Necronomicon. I remember renting this one night hoping for a Lovecraftian pick-me-up, but I was disappointed to find out that despite the title, it doesn't actually have very much at all to do with the Necronomicon -- it's just your standard violent rape-porn**, though a bit gorier and slower than most. Or maybe I'm confusing it with Bible Black, another disappointment. Anyway, the point is, I can't find any porn featuring the Necronomicon, so this is going to be a very short insta-

But wait! What's this? Zombies? Chainsaws? The second best oral-sex-with-a-severed-head scene I've ever seen? Is it, in fact, the trailer for an upcoming porn spoof of a movie about the evils unleashed when a bunch of dumb college kids find the Necronomicon in an abandoned cabin in the woods that Steven King called "the most ferociously original horror film of the year", and one of my top ten
movies of all time?

It is! It is! Oh Doug Sakmann, you're the absolute ginchiest!

--Mikey Mongol


*and certainly not because I'm trying to impress her and thus increase my chances that we will someday have sex, as I am a professional and I would never stoop so low as to exploit the sacred trust of my journalistic platform for such a base and selfish purpose. Though, you know, if she wanted to call me sometime...
** or as the Japanese call it, "porn".

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Aria Giovanni Blogs Around the World [Porn-o-rama]

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Adult search engine Booble now has porn star Aria Giovanni on board to blog about her world travels. The travels aren't especially naughty - in fact they are pretty much the travels of any normal twenty-something woman. Which I think is pretty cool - not every little moment of a porn star's life needs to be pornified for sexy consumption. Porn stars like normal stuff too.

--Audacia Ray

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Teenage Twins and Other Tales of Incest Play [Porn-o-rama]

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Hi folks! Mikey Mongol here, back on the porn beat. It turns out that retiring from porn journalism isn't that much different from porn retirement -- often temporary. Just think of me as a moustachioed Asian Belladonna. Or Janine. Or Tiffany Mynx. Or...

Unretiring makes me think of when I first started out writing about the dirty movie industry, he segued smoothly. One of the first movie reviews that I ever wrote was of a picture starring the Russian(?) twins Sasha and Misha, and I noted in it that twins in porn often have sex together, but never with each other. How little I knew! While that's true now (at least domestically), the other night I stumbled across a 1976 gem of a flick called Teenage
Twins
, that features the Young twins, Brooke and Taylor, canoodling. That's right! Honest-to-God lesbian twincest, which as we all know is the very best of all possible cests. Take that, Cambria list!

Unless you're a horror fan like me, you might think pick the twincest is the best part of the movie. Or the relatvely rare mid-70s anal sex scenes. Or the masturbating-with-a-Bible scene. Or the mother-daughter-stepdad threesome scene. Or the stereotypically perfect funktastic bass-and-flute bow-chicka-bow-bow soundtrack. But if you are a classic horror enthusiast, what you'll probably enjoy most is is the fact that about halfway through the movie, there's a sudden appearance of the Necronomicon! That's right -- the Mad Arab's legendary tome itself, straight from the pages of the February 1924 issue of Weird Tales. Man, someone out there in '70s pornoland was a great big nerd.

I think that's fantastic.

--Mikey Mongol

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Jenna Jameson's New PETA Campaign [Porn-o-rama]

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Now, I might just have a twisted sense of humor, but does anyone else find it kind of funny that the week after a big to-do about Jenna Jameson's pregnancy rumors began to circulate, there's a PETA campaign launched that is essnetially about preventing pregnancy in pets?

In non-nude, non-pregnancy related Jenna news, she's also launched her clothing line, Hello Jenna. So far, the line just has a MySpace page and a paypal account, and the website says coming soon.

--Audacia Ray

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Gross Outs and High Fives: The Minion [Porn-o-rama]

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For many many years in mainstream porn it's been a widely accepted fact that it doesn't really matter what the male performers look like. After all, they're just accessories that help the girls get fucked and act as fantasy stand-ins for the (presumably male) viewers.

On I Shoot Porn, Billy Watson writes about a dude called The Minion (pictured above in a shot taken by Billy) who now has his very own eponymous porn site. The theme of Minion shoots appears to be messy food stuffs, hot girls, and the gross out factor. Ok, I know that yesterday I said I would love to see more straight porn sites built around a male performer, this is so not what I meant!

I'm trying to figure out why this site exists and who the market is. I'm not the only one wondering, either. Bill Watson had this to say:


Who’s gonna watch this? I thought to myself. Who knows…maybe The Minion will be every fat guy’s hero. Every fat guy who watches porn. Maybe he’ll be a hero to frat boys across our fine land. Maybe he’ll be a hero to every guy who’s had a girl reject him.

It's a real head scratcher. What do you think?

--Audacia Ray

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Celebrity Crossover: Evan Seinfeld [Porn-o-rama]

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The porn star's urge to merge with the mainstream is a time-honored tradition, but the mainstream celebrity urge to merge with the porn world is traditionally a public secret a la the oops-its-public-but-really-a-brokered-deal sex tape. And rock stars and porn stars are basically cut from the same cloth, so I'm not so sure that I buy the whole "world's first celebrity porn site." That said Evan Seinfeld, the singer of Biohazard and husband to Tera Patrick, has got his own site now -Rock Star Pimp- and I'm all for porn sites being built around male talent.

--Audacia Ray

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